whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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