is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
