We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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