chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize