I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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