I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i love accidental penises.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
