She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
