about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
