I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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