Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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