Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
