imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
