I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize