isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
