i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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