dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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