Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
