the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
