so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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