I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
