At least make sure they are 18
Why
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
