I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i will never coherently bang her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
