I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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