Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
