I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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