I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
