My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
