I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
