lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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