I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
