how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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