if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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