I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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