Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
