Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
