grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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