Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
did i just pee glitter
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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