just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize