I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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