I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
