Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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