I've blown a few things in my day
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
