I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
