if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
