And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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