Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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