morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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