What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
