you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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