it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
