For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
