Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
