we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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