It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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