Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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