I can text with my tongue
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
