Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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